Which do you think that God prefers: a prayer that privately seeks Him or a prayer posture that others see?

Many years ago, I was out to lunch with a friend. Unbeknownst to her, I had spent the morning asking God questions to include what to wear, how to pay for the meal, what to order for the meal, etc. Even as we sat at the table awaiting for the food to be delivered, I was constantly silently talking with God about what His will was. I awaken every morning talking with God and go to sleep each night having just spoken to Him about the day. My constant focus is on what God wants for me.

When the food arrived, I silently thanked God for His provision. But the friend expected that I should visibly have a perfunctory prayer model for others to see. She looked at me as if I were a heathen because I did not acknowledge God aloud before eating. Inside it hurt, because it seemed that she should have known my heart for God. Her need to be seen acknowledging God before eating a meal in a restaurant was important to her. Just so you know, I didn’t make a scene or even say anything to the friend about it. I bowed my head and was silent for the offered perfunctory prayer.

But please hear me, all that is modeled in the church is a constant yacking at God and very little actually seeking God. It’s a burden to me. I want so much more for the people that I care about.

All this came to mind after watching Episode 2 and 3 of “The Chosen”, Season 5 this week. (Episode 3 is already out on YouTube.) In the episode, Jesus is portrayed forming a whip and turning over the tables in the temple court as recorded in the Scriptures. He was furious! I could feel every bit of that simmering wrath come to the surface because it’s exactly how I feel when seeing some of the garbage theology and country-club religion in the churches locally. Why don’t they get it? Why are they willing to accept the very things that anger God?

While watching the episodes, I felt hatred for the Pharisees who plotted against Jesus. But isn’t that what they were supposed to do? Wasn’t the goal for Jesus to be crucified on a cross? It couldn’t happen any other way according to prophecies. So maybe they were just doing their part in God’s grand plan.

So are the pastors who come against me for bringing true doctrine to them, just doing their part too? Well think about this for a moment. It’s hard for me to be firm and openly defiant against the pastors for teaching wrong when they don’t know that their doctrine is wrong. I want to love them enough to help them know to seek God about the false doctrine. I want to be gentle and nurturing in the process. And please believe me, I try. All that happens is that I invest my heart in them. They don’t change! Then, they turn against me by blocking me on social media or yelling at me in a prayer meeting. It’s only then that I can get the resolve to be more direct. No, I don’t form a whip and go after them, but their animosity towards me somehow frees me to use harsher language against their false doctrines in a more public way. I wonder if God is intentionally hardening their hearts towards me so that I get fuel for the fire that needs to ignite in me against their garbage theology.

Obviously Jesus was provoking the Pharisees against Himself so that they would crucify Him according to the new covenant plan. But that doesn’t mean that He didn’t truly feel every bit of that wrath and anger towards the perfunctory religious practices taking place in the temple courts.

Thirteen years ago, I started a YouTube channel called “Kingdom Champions”. I wanted to use it to teach others the importance of hearing God’s voice in prayer. It inflamed the false teachers against me and their persecution resulted in much heartbreak. They didn’t succeed in silencing me but they beat me down pretty good. They used some that I loved to burden my soul in heinous ways. At times, I think that it’s unfair of God to keep sending me to those “Pharisees” to help them. With all that they took from me, I should hate them. But if I can’t get through to them, they will continue to teach this generation and the next their bogus doctrines of demons. I’m burdened that perfunctory prayer could win out over truly seeking God and knowing His heart.

Don’t believe me … ask God yourself!

(So that this is not referred to as an anonymous post, it was written by me, Tammie Edwards.)