Hindered Vision

Yes, ignorance can be bliss, but also sometimes knowing more can be useful or powerful. I had a learning experience this weekend that put previous experiences in a different perspective. Listen, this learning experience didn’t come easy and I really should let you have to endure a similar one without giving you the final lesson plan, but maybe I learned it for both of us. So here goes …

I started the Spring Break weekend with back pain. It was that obnoxious lower back ache that dulls the desire to do anything useful. However, an earlier lesson with back pain resulted in me learning to use a tennis ball to self-massage the trouble spot. But it only seemed to dislodge what in hindsight was likely a kidney stone or stones. It was uncomfortable in the back but much more severe when it moved to the front. I spent the weekend with moist heat and Tylenol as my only friends. I watched way too much useless television and napped more than should be permissible.

So where’s the lesson? The lesson was revealed to me upon awaking this morning. The stones have seemingly passed and I was able to accomplish a few tasks, including laundry, yesterday. When I was going through the pain and suffering, I asked the Lord what was the purpose for it. I admit that I asked every question possible and only the Lord could have the patience needed to deal with me. The Lord said that I had done exactly His will and that this was not punishment. Forgive me for not believing that answer. But that was His answer. Big bully is what I really thought! He was patient in my affliction.

The lesson came in our early morning conversation today. He reminded me of the five senses: sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. If I was without one of the five senses the other senses would be heightened to make up for the diminished sense. For example, if I were without sight, my hearing would likely become more aware. It’s like when we were youngins. New sights, sounds, and tastes were exciting and developed our discernment for color, texture, pitch etc. Alternately, as we age, our senses diminish gradually with impaired vision, hearing, taste, and more, also affecting our perspective. We don’t need to dwell on that because that’s not the central focus of this lesson (says the aging lady writing this).

So what in the world does that have to do with kidney stones or any other trial that we go through? I often equate hardship with discipline or punishment from God and sometimes let’s face it, that’s true. Ask Noah about everyone who got wiped off the planet in his day. But, God said of this particular hardship that it was not discipline or punishment. Some trials are to better position us or to equip us. That doesn’t make them more fun as we’re going through them, but at least there isn’t a punishment event going on. God was being rather quiet about all of it until this morning when He reminded me of the heightened senses. So why kidney stones?

The kidney stones forced me to be inside and alone. They forced me to not accomplish the to-do list in my head. They forced me to question my relationship with God. (Thankfully, that was in a good place.) The kidney stones forced me to see that I can take a day or two off without significant consequences. Maybe I can actually stop and smell the roses. I can’t take good health for granted. God has been pretty good at keeping me safe and healthy — when He wants to. I think that I gained insight about perspectives. When we are cut off from one perspective, we gain another.

I’m not sure that I described this well or even if I understand it fully. Maybe new wisdom will come as I mull this over in the days ahead. If you understand this from a different perspective, please share your thoughts. Maybe writing this will help us all.