The Lord has been showing me closed doors lately. He allows me to glimpse in and then closes the door with finality.

I’ve been looking for office space so that I could have room to work on finishing the Discipleship magazine. Two years ago, I closed my office and moved everything into storage. I hate paying for storage and not having my things easily accessible. For weeks and months, I have been following God’s lead about possible office venues. But most have just been way too expensive and would keep me financially strapped. And for what? All to create a magazine that nobody really wants?

This week, God directed me to an office that was affordable and just exactly right. I sent an email to the broker and patiently waited for a response. But God would not let me call the broker. The next morning, I was being impatient with God about it, and He said “If I want you to have it, it will be yours.” I took that to mean that nobody was going to interfere. But what it really meant was that God didn’t want me to have it. When He finally allowed me to call the broker later in the afternoon, they had JUST signed the lease with someone else. I was disappointed. I was already imagining having a workspace again. But God wanted a closed door instead.

Of course, at any time I could have chosen to ignore God’s leading and just do what I thought was best and I’d probably have an office space by now. But there would never be peace in my heart. I know that with certainty. It makes me wonder how everyone that doesn’t hear God’s voice gets where they are going. Does peace elude them?

The closed doors are painful at times. But being separated from God for even a moment would be unbearable beyond understanding. Behind every closed door is something that God doesn’t want for me. I receive that and will try to glimpse inside those temporarily open doors with much greater inspection of God’s heart for me. I do know that His plans are rarely ever the easiest trek. But why would I need to be His “mighty warrior” if things were destined to be easy?