Author Archives: Tammie Edwards

A Chastisement To Remember

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1) My comfort is not more valuable than the assignment.

2) My comfort is not more valuable than the assignment.

3) My comfort is not more valuable than the assignment.

4) My comfort is not more valuable than the assignment.

That’s the statement that God wanted me to commit to memory. His chastisement reminded me of when the teacher would make a student write on the blackboard the same statement over and over again as punishment. I could keep typing it but will I remember it when I’m having to once again give up my comfort to confront the false teachers? (Ha ha I just wrote the sentence on an index card to keep in front of me at my computer. I wanted to go back and scratch out the word “not”, but I didn’t.)

Those false trinity teachers evidently don’t understand that the message that I’m bringing is from Almighty God. Why would I care what they’re teaching on my own? Why would I invest the time and energy to create doctrinal teaching materials, write letters, listen to their sermons, etc. if God were not mandating it? I can tell you this for sure, I wouldn’t care what they’re doing. They would not even be on my radar if God weren’t insisting. It seems to me that their comfort is more valuable than the assignment.

“It’s A Bug, Not A Monster”

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I have always had an irrational fear of bugs. I hate those ugly things and don’t want them anywhere near me. The fear is completely foolish. I could destroy them easily and have many times. But, let’s face it nobody wants to see a big roach when they get up in the night to go to the bathroom. Who could sleep after that?

Well, several weeks ago, I caught a glimpse of something moving in my peripheral vision when I was up in the night. So, I slept on the couch with the lights on. I admit it. I’m a wimp with these sort of things. I can be a mighty warrior in the spiritual realm and still have irrational fear in the physical realm.

Last night I saw a tiny bug moving on the floor when I was in the bathroom. It was a baby roach and he/she had a few siblings. I was thoroughly disgusted not so much by the tiny bugs but by the idea that there was a bigger bug lurking somewhere that had spawned the smaller ones. I flushed the little ones smooshed in toilet paper, but it couldn’t end there. Now I was on high alert for momma bug. She was going to meet her maker if I had my way.

When I laid back in bed, completely stressed, I heard the Lord say “It’s a bug, not a monster”. He continued to reason with me that it doesn’t have teeth. It can’t harm me. It is more afraid of me than I am of it. Seriously, just turning a light on causes it to look for a means of escape. That one stupid bug has managed to torment me without me ever even seeing it. I’ve been unreasonably aware. Despite God’s reasoning, I don’t think anything has changed. Every light in the place will go on for my nighttime bathroom visit. There’s going to be all out warfare if it makes itself known.

Of course, God couldn’t waste an uncomfortable scenario to teach me something greater. How often do we have irrational fears over the trials in our lives? I’m a very analytical person. That can be a good thing, but it can also be a fear-inducing bad thing. Analytical people typically jump to the worst case scenario first. As in the example above, my analytical thinker was jumping to the idea that the bug in question would crawl on me while I was sleeping. I wasn’t worried about it biting me or attacking me. I was afraid of it being near me. It sounds silly, but we all do a similar thing when we worry about things unreasonably. And yes, I do realize that a cancer diagnosis is a bigger thing than a bug being near you, but jumping to worst case scenarios can overemphasize fear and distort what’s true.

Last month, I was sick for nearly a week. I was having fever, nausea, and burning pain in the esophagus. It caused me to have no appetite, which was a good thing since I had no food in the house and no strength to go to the grocery store. My usual go-to people were all out of town on vacations and travel. I had hours of laying around questioning why God had allowed me to be sick. I continually asked God if I had done something wrong and He answered that I had done His will exactly. Listen, I hate being sick every bit as much as I hate bugs. Eventually, I drove myself to urgent care to get checked out and the doctor said that it was likely acid reflux. He gave me a prescription for Prilosec and one for nausea. Yuck! Did I mention that I hate being sick. But, and here’s the big but, I made it through. Was it uncomfortable? Yes. It was not how I wanted to spend my time. But I did make it through to the other side of that thing.

As I was on the mend, God finally gave me a different word about why I was sick. He said that it was a reset. Reset? It wasn’t punishment. It was a reset? I can analyze what that means (and I guess I’m supposed to since God won’t elaborate). So, one of the things that I’ve read about fasting from foods for health reasons is that fasting causes your body to eliminate certain toxins and can help prevent certain cancers, etc. Truly, if I hadn’t been sick, fasting for four days would have seemed unreasonable. And it still does. You see, my thought is that I have this God who could have prevented me from being sick then and in the future without me doing a thing. He’s all powerful. He’s the healer. He could have given my physical body a reset without putting me through the trial. But He didn’t. And He didn’t rid my home of that stupid bug that has stalked me in the dark either.

I know that there is a bigger picture that God is doing that He just won’t trust me with the details at the moment. I don’t like it, but I don’t have to. What am I going to do with God? I can’t spank Him when He doesn’t do things my way. He always has the final say and the final authority.

“It’s only a bug, not a monster.” That’s a saying that I need to remember for the next trial that is sure to come.

Pearls or Pigs?

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What is being communicated to us in this passage of Scripture?

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” (Matthew 7:6 NIV)

If you read the passage in context, it takes on a slightly different tone than when it stands alone. Can you always judge what are the pearls and what are the pigs? God can adequately judge heart motives, but can we?

Is anything sacred to the wrong people? I don’t feel like I can even enter a church service with any level of privacy these days. There are phone cameras everywhere as if God had ordained some to be videographers of tender moments of intimacy. In my opinion, it desecrates the sacred spaces and makes a spectacle of worship. But does God see something different when He looks at the individual heart motives of those same people? Maybe they just don’t understand boundaries, or maybe the culture has skewed their idea of privacy.

The passage mentions dogs. I love dogs in the right setting. But are you going to put your precious newborn baby alone in the same room with an animal that is known to bite when they are anxious? Probably not. That leads me to another boundary that people constantly cross with their dogs. Please, people don’t bring your dogs into a restaurant. Last night, my daughter and I went to eat at a local dining establishment. At the table right beside us was a family with a dog. The pet was positioned under the table and on a leash but he had its eyes on us during the entire meal. That’s not comfortable. But if you have no sense of compassion for other diners, then who cares?

In a society that seemingly has few boundaries, we can be positioned right next to someone who has severe hygiene issues, or who talks loudly on their phone in a public setting, or even one who is as high as a kite on street drugs or alcohol. At the laundromat yesterday, a mother ignored that her 4-year-old daughter was screeching every few seconds for the entire time. How is that being a good citizen to the other people who need to also use those facilities. It drained me of energy. I don’t even need to get started about people who play loud obnoxious music as if the whole world were their audience. I get it. You like crappy music but please go listen to it somewhere that I’m not.

Another thought. Is it right for a woman to wear revealing clothes around your teenage son or your husband? Yuck, I saw a woman walk into McDonalds wearing what could have passed for lingerie and there was absolutely nothing left to the imagination. She walked right in as though it was perfectly normal. I could see her bare breasts through the thin netted swimsuit coverup. What the heck?

Do you think that God has an opinion on any of those scenarios that I just described? Is He judging the heart motives to see if those are acts of selfishness or does He see a different picture that goes deeper? Does God see the heart of the ignorant false teacher? Does He excuse their stupidity because He can see beyond their current circumstances? Does He love them beyond their own vision of themselves and their surroundings? Or does He want them to change? What are the pearls and what are the pigs?

Listen, there are pastors that are going to tell you that God loves everyone exactly the same, or that God doesn’t have favorites (which is completely contradictory to what the Bible communicates, but oh well). The truth is that God wants us all to change. He wants us all to be mindful of His will. He wants us all to grow in maturity of character, even those of us who know we are His favorites.

“But, Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord. For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.” (2 Corinthians 10:17-18 NIV)

Prophetic Conundrum

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“But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes someone’s life, that person’s life will be taken because of their sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for their blood.” (Ezekiel 33:6 NIV)

This Scripture doesn’t afford the watchman much room to refuse to warn the idiots that habitually won’t listen. If the people would actually listen to the words from the prophets AND ask God about it themselves, then God would not need to warn through storms, floods, fires, earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes and other weather events. But here’s the thing, whether the people listen to God’s prophets or not, the prophet must answer to God to deliver the message.

I’ve gone through a few very humbling events since I first started hearing God’s voice in prayer. There have been times, even recently, when God had to adjust my attitude because I didn’t want to keep bringing the same message over and over again to the same stubborn pastors who refuse to listen. It doesn’t seem fair, but evidently it doesn’t have to be. I just need to do what God tells me to do and ignore the idiots who ignore God’s messages through me. I’m guessing that God is withholding some of His wrath against them while He delivers messages through me. When He stops sending me to deliver the messages then that’s when He will unleash His judgment against them. But I don’t get to choose when that is or what that looks like. I’m just the messenger and I don’t have influence with God or a right to have compassion when He exacts His punishment against the false teachers.

I got the message loud and clear. Refusing God comes with consequences. Evidently though, He doesn’t have a problem with me calling them idiots. So that’s a win!

“The people to whom I am sending you are obstinate and stubborn. Say to them, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says.’ And whether they listen or fail to listen—for they are a rebellious people—they will know that a prophet has been among them. And you, son of man, do not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of what they say or be terrified by them, though they are a rebellious people. You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen, for they are rebellious.” (Ezekiel 2:4-7 NIV)

Their Three Gods Aren’t Saying Much

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This morning, I was reading from the book of the prophet Isaiah. As I regularly read through the messages from the various prophets, I have to wonder if the local pastors ever actually read the words from the prophets. Are they ignorant to the warnings from God?

There are over 100 churches in this city. The Lord says that not one of them teaches correctly about who God is. How can not even one pastor know the truth about God? Some of them say that they hear God but then preach that there are three Gods (a trinity of Gods). How foolish is that?

For about 8,030 days (22 years), I have been hearing God’s voice all day, every day. Yet, the pastors, who admit that they only hear God once in a while or a few times in their lifetimes, refuse the words that God delivers through me. They have convinced themselves that God is not one God but instead three-1/3 Gods that make up a godhead. Why don’t they have eyes to see just how stupid that doctrine is?

Why do they call God a liar? God said (as recorded in Isaiah 43:10 NIV) “ ‘You are my witnesses,’ declares the LORD, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me.'”

No God before or after seems pretty clear. So why do they insist that Jesus is a separate God sitting next to the primary God? In my opinion, it’s because they’re idiots. But at the very least, it has to be that they don’t know God. If they knew God, then they would know that He is the only God. Certainly, God could choose to open their eyes and reveal Himself to them. What is He waiting for? Is He waiting for them to humble themselves and admit that they have not sought Him to know His identity.

Jesus said this: (red letter words) “You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.” (John 5:39-40 NIV)

I’m eagerly awaiting for one of the local pastors to truly come to know God. In that intimacy with God, I hope they will learn true doctrine. I want a church family but I refuse to be part of a church that teaches falsely. God wouldn’t allow it! He wants more for me than that. I don’t know why He doesn’t seem to care about the congregants of all the local churches enough to forbid them from participating in false religion. That’s His business, not mine.

Rushed Intimacy?

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This morning, I was reading in the Psalms and my spiritual vision focused on a few key phrases.

“The LORD does whatever pleases him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths. He makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth; he sends lightning with the rain and brings out the wind from his storehouses. He struck down the firstborn of Egypt, the firstborn of people and animals. He sent his signs and wonders into your midst, Egypt, against Pharaoh and all his servants. He struck down many nations and killed mighty kings—” (Psalm 135:6-10 NIV)

“The LORD does whatever pleases him”; “He struck down the firstborn of Egypt”; “He struck down many nations and killed mighty kings”. (Echoed in Psalm 136.)

Those are heavy words. We don’t often hear about this God from pulpits. It seems that the God that is preached about today is a wimpy one that is only allowed to accept the meager attention that is passively offered. He evidently isn’t allowed to, in His wrath, punish or offend anyone. King David knew the same God that I know. God is sovereign. God is jealous. God is a strong protector.

Every day the Lord speaks through me and to me. At times He speaks in tongues of men and other times in tongues of angels. But every time that the Lord speaks through me, He allows me to feel His heart and emotion. There are times when the grief that I feel is bigger than my own mind could fathom. When the Lord cries out in tongues of angels through me, I don’t understand the words but I feel the anguish, weep with Him, and shed the tears. I have also experienced God’s heart of disgust towards the false teachers who refuse to repent and learn from God.

He wants me to know His heart. That’s the intimacy that He offers to His anointed. Do you know God’s heart or are you just a bystander who rushes towards intimacy when you need His power or provision?