Over the years that I have not belonged to a church family (at a church building), I have asked the Lord many times to provide a place that I could have as a church home. Oh, He sends me, but every time He shows me that I’m not welcome.

This morning, the first words I heard from the Lord were “they want to extinguish your gifts”. That fired me up before my head was off the pillow. The Lord went on to say that not one of the local churches could handle having me in their congregation without wanting to strip the titles from me that God has given me. The problem is that they can’t “compete” with the anointing that God has entrusted me with. They would want to take away the title “prophet” because they don’t hear God and would want to pretend that I don’t either. God said that they would not permit me to be God’s apostle in their presence because that would make me more worthy than their pastors at discussing doctrine. Then the devil would lose all the ground that he has managed to take. The devil will fight for that through any vessel that is not fully submitted to God (and there are plenty of them in the churches).

So I asked God, “Does that mean that I won’t ever get to have a church home?” The Lord answered “maybe”.

Then the question came to my mind as though it had been deliberately stationed there. “Why would I want to be part of a church family that would want to extinguish my giftings and denounce my relationship with God?” I wouldn’t!

So, in all these years that I have been searching for a church home, God was using that search to show me the mess that the church has become. Most of the churches would deny my rights in the Kingdom of God just because I’m a female. For sure, those churches wouldn’t accept that I’m God’s prophet or apostle because they believe that a woman must be silent … and God doesn’t anoint apostles or prophets to be silent. I guess that I must conclude that I’m just not welcome and be good with that.

God is willing for me to be a spectator of the church, but my first allegiance must always be to doing His will. That can’t happen simultaneously with being silent in the church.